it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
