I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
