Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
