If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
