Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
