she was so not down for the gang bang
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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