It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
