the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize