White coat. Heels.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Can I color on your dick again?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
