i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
