Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
