dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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