the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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