Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
wow bdsm is so cute
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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