i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
