'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
