last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
