I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
