Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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