How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
