This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
