Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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