So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
