Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize