i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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