K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
