Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
