so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
In America we eat man semen.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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