i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
