Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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