Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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