No stitches, just platelets and will power
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
