hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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