just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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