i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
