She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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