I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
