PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
