next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
being pregnant is like rehab
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
