Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't deserve a penis
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
