my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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