Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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