I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize