ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize