i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize