wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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