so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize