people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
