they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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