Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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