How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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