**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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