All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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