I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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