broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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