please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
