Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
