Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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