I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
