Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
