Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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