The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
