He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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