This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
