Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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