omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
