just tell him i said nine months
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
