just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
