So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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