she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
