No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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