So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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