I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
