With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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