Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
