someone threw a dead crab at me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
