We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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